In my previous post on stress, I have mentioned the "bad" part of mental health is made up stress and anxiety. This is the 2nd part of the curbing the bad, i.e. anxiety.
I must confess - I have difficulty writing on anxiety. When I started the blog, the intention is that this is a place where I can offer suggestions on how to overcome from my own personal experience. Or that I write about how I have helped another person to get over it...none of this applies to this blog on anxiety.
For anxiety: I have no solutions and I have zero experience on how to handle this. The only thing I can offer is to say that anxiety is not a uncommon as one might think. It will strike anybody (the most famous is probably of Simone Biles (the greatest of all time in women's gymnastics) experiencing "the twisties" the Tokyo Olympics), and at anytime when we least expect. It will cause performance issues, and sleepless nights which may lead to other health issues. And we don't really know how to get out of it...
Let's explore the path forward...nope, we cannot use the word "solutions" because they have not really worked well. We just hope that by practicing some of these, we may have a small window to open but that's about it. It is obviously, easy to say "do this" or "do that" but when we ourselves are caught in a bind, all we can do is hope and pray that we can escape.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy
Before we even start to healing process, we have to first identify the items that leads to the anxious situation, which could be...
- Triggers - what are the thoughts and action that spark the feeling?
- Patterns - when does it happen? Is it at work, at night right before bedtime, or when out talking with friends/colleagues?
- Beliefs - what is your mind telling you at the moment? Is it that "I am going to fail" or "I cannot handle this"
After identifying the triggers, patterns and beliefs, then we shall use CBT tools and strategies to help.
Tool #1: Cognitive Restructuring
- We have to counter the thoughts by challenging if they are really true. Ask yourself the following questions
- What is the evidence that this feeling is true?
- What would I tell a friend in this situation? Is it really as bad as I think?
- Is this thought helping or hurting me?
- We replace the catastrophic thinking with more balance alternatives. The bad feeling that I have of this, may not be true. While there is a possiblity of failure, it may be still be a 50-50 chance that I may actually still win a little. I probably can get by with 75% of what I am hoping/asking for.
- If I were to tell my friend, he (or she) probably will have a different opinion. If I ask 2 friends, I may get 2 very different answers.
- This thought will hurt if I continue doing this, so I should stop and just give it a break...
Tool #2: Behavioral Experiments
Perhaps the fear scenario is not as bad as originally thought. If possible, we can test the situation in smaller, more controlled ways, before going for the full head-on approach.
One example: if there is fear of being reprimanded in team meetings, we can prepare a short point before the meeting. Then at the meeting, we share the short point that we prepared earlier and observe what happens. The high likelihood is that it's less "it's the end of the world" than imagined.
Tools #3: Sleep Hygiene and Thought Defusion
To overcome anxiety, a good remedy is to have ample sleep so that the mind can be relaxed. The unfortunate part is that these are both intertwined --- if one is anxious, it is difficult to sleep and because there is lack of sleep, the anxiety levels will increase.
Rather than taking medication (melatonin may help for a while but cannot be a long-term solution), we can practise the following suggestions (to get to sleep):
Create a routine for bedtime: no screentime (esp. no Tiktok nor IG), dim the lights (preferably lower intensity ones), play relaxing music, or do some light reading
Use techniques such as thought journaling - set aside 15 minutes to pen down the worries/concerns/next-day tasks, and don't let these thoughts intrude at night
Practise progressive muscle relaxation:
- Choose one muscle group to focus on
- Tense the muscle for 5-10 seconds
- Release the tension and focos on relaxing the muscle for 20-30 seconds
- Move on to the next muscle group
- Use this sequence: hands - forearms - shoulders - neck - face - chest
Practise box breathing: use a 4-step cycle breathing
- Sit or lie down in a quiet place
- Inhale for 4 seconds
- Holds for 4 seconds
- Exhale for 4 seconds
- Hold for 4 seconds
- Repeat as necessary or until we get calm...
Tool # 4: Perform Anxiety Techniques
Just like in any other projects, overcoming anxiety is a process. If the initial hurdle is too big, we have to break them into smaller, more manage-able tasks. And when we overcome (taking baby steps is perfectly fine), we take time to celebrate sucess.
Practice visualization - when we do something, rejoice and say a word of gratitude, as though you have sucessfully overcome it.
Practise self-compassion: we must remind ourselves that we are nto alone in this. Everyone struggles and mistakes do not define who we are.
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Looking from the religious viewpoint, the Holy Bible has plenty to say and is filled with promises that speaks directly to our anxious hearts, offering peace, hope, and strength in the midst of life’s uncertainties. Throughout Scripture, God keeps on repeating in both the Old and the New Testament, that He sees you, He cares for you, and He has not forgotten you.
1. God is near to the brokenhearted
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit - Psalms 34:18
When anxiety makes us feel alone, remember that God is near and will save us, those that are in tears. his presence will be manifested when we call to him in time of trouble. He promises that when we seek him, we will find him, if we seek him with all our heart.
In the book of Jeremiah, written when the Jews are in exile and when all hope is looking bleak, God reminded his people that He has a plan, a plan to prosper and not to harm, and plan to give hope and a future.
2. Cast your cares on Him
Anxiety often comes because we have a burden that we were never meant to carry, It could be something beyond our means and beyond our ability and our strength. In this moment, God asks us to cast our cares on him.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you - 1 Peter 5:7
It is not just a good suggestion but a divine invitation to cast our cares upon him. God loves us deeply and he wants to exchange it with something that we can handle. Jesus asks us to go to him, all who are weary and heaby laden and he will give us rest. We are to take his yoke and learn of him, for his yoke is easy and his burden is light.
3. Peace that passes understanding
In the midst of a VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous) environment, God offers a peace that is beyond logic.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus - Phillipians 4:6-7
God asks us that instead of beign anxious, that we should present our requests to God in prayer with thanksgiving in our hearts. And his peace will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.