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The 2nd Circle - Relationships

Now that we have explored the most important things in our life, we move to the 2nd circle which consist of everything about relationships - our social, marital and parental part of our lives. For those who do not have kids, then the parental part is probably on honouring our parents rather versus the 2-way of focussing on honoring our parents and bringing up our children.

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If it has been a while since you last read the post on the most important, please click here for a recap of how to take care of ourselves - the Physical, Mental and Spiritual. 

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Why are Relationships Important? 

Harvard University conducted a study on "what makes a good life?" called the Harvard Study of Adult Development starting in 1938. The study lasted 85 years and counting. They enrolled hundreds of students - those from around Boston and in Harvard university (including a young John F. Kennedy who later became President of the USA), who willingly subjected themselves to interviews, questionnaires, physical examinations and health measurements over many many years covering events such as college graduation, career, marriage, war, parenthood, life crisis and old age. One of the major points uncovered by the researchers is that the quality of relationships is the single most important predictor of long-term happiness and health. 

The clearest message we get from this 85-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period. - Dr. Robert Waldinger


The trick is that relationships must be nurtured. The people who are happier did not just leave it to chance or posting on social media hoping for more "likes". Instead, they made plans with friends, reached out to people and joined community and social groups. 

Another point that the study brought up is that loneliness has an effect on the physical body. For older adults, the Harvard study says that loneliness is a greater marker on longevity than obesity, and far more dangerous. Ongoing loneliness raises the risk of a person's death by 26 percent. 


A study done in the United Kingdom between 1994 and 1995 reported that those who are lonely had a greater chance of facing mental-health issues, partaking in unsafe physical health behaviours and coping with stress in negative ways. The economic cost, due to lower productivity and lower employment, is estimated more than $3 billion which prompted the UK government to set up a UK Ministry of Loneliness. 



The Details 

Let's explore further on what we can do to nurture these relationships:

  • Parental (work in progress)
  • Social (work in progress)


Next: the Final Circle - our contributions and output. 



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